Sometimes you just want to blend in, go with the flow, or follow the rhythm. This sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? But here, I don’t mean as a result of being shy, or worse, disinterested. I mean actually wanting to blend in… with a purpose. There are situations or moments that call for adopting the general consensus, keeping the boat steady, not creating waves. Don’t be mistaken. This can require a lot of effort. Here are my observations on the topic.

When is it a good idea to blend in?
1. When there is a high-pressure situation at work that requires everyone’s full co-operation.
2. When you want to level up to a new position, learn a new skill from the people around you.
3. When you have been given a warning by your boss for being too “extra” or disruptive. Assuming you want to keep your job, it may be a good idea to go under the radar for a while. 
4. When you have been told that you are not a team player. Sometimes it may not even be true, but the perception is that you are not team player.

How do you blend in?

1. Sit down, be humble. This is particularly challenging for those of you who are not used to blending in. You have a strong personality and expertise in a particular field and want to showcase it to your peers and boss. This is really the time learn to show modesty.
2. Put your head down and do the work. Here, it’s all about team action not debate. You may not agree with the action plan but your task has been defined and you are expected to simply execute that task. So just to that. Do the work, execute the task. There will be a moment when you will be able to express your opinion or debate the action plan. Now is not that time.
3. Learn the lingo. Speak the language of your peers. Don’t introduce new terminology, new acronyms. If everyone uses technical terms, use technical terms. If everyone speaks in layman’s terms, then do the same.
4. Play the duck. Keep calm on the surface, while frantically pedalling underneath. This is the equivalent to “fake it till you make it” mantra. This is specifically for those of you who are trying to level up. You are finding yourself in a challenging environment. You want to keep a steady appearance while developing your experience/knowledge/skill on the low.
5. Go with the flow. Immerse yourself in the company culture. Participate in social gatherings. Show enthusiasm in those work events, afterwork drinks. Be friendly.

When I had to blend in.
My earliest experience with having to blend in incidentally came at the same time as my realisation that you could have fun at work (see previous post). So that was quite early in my career. At that time, I was branded an individualist and not a team player by my manager and colleagues. Was there some truth to it? Well, when it came to work, not at all. I was always a team player. When it came to socialising, it was more difficult. I was always the one to decline afterwork drinks, playing fantasy football games, etc. Regardless of my contribution to the team, the perception was that I was an individualist, which didn’t mesh well with the company culture. I then made a conscious decision to attend a few social events with colleagues to change that perception. It did work and soon enough the perception shifted. I was seen as a team player, completely integrated in the company.

You may ask, why did you have to change yourself to please your colleagues/boss? The answer is simple. I liked working there. There was a perception of me that wasn’t actually true. I had to adjust to lift that perception. There was some effort from my side but once I showed willingness to integrate, my problem was solved.

So I will end this post with an important warning. Do not blend in for too long!! I have found that it usually serves its purpose for a short amount of time. This is not a permanent attitude to adopt. With experience and adequate soft skills, you will learn to recognise when it may be strategic to blend in, and importantly when it’s time to shine and stand out.


Next post: How to stand out.