I am sure you know what I am talking about. You send an email with a specific question and that person will always send a response, usually very quickly. You think to yourself: “wow this guy is always on the ball” or, “she’s the best, she never leaves me hanging”.But, soon enough you realise that while you receive a response to your emails, you never actually get an answer to your questions. This is one of my pet peeves. Side note: you will soon realise, I don’t lack in the pet peeves department.

I have come across such individuals many times in my career. They could be your boss, a colleague, a customer, or a supplier. It is the most frustrating because you feel like you are going crazy. You get a response that sometimes has nothing to do you with your question. You read your email again to see if you’d left space for confusion by error. But no, what you were asking was clear. This is just how they operate.


Why are people doing this?

1. They are into politics. Politicians are master deflectors. So, people playing politics at work are the same. Politicians have an agenda and points to address whatever questions are asked during an interview. It is a smart strategy but it’s up to the interviewer to re-focus on the topic of interest.

2. They are insecure about their knowledge. They are not sure about the details so will only answer the part that they know, leaving the full picture to your imagination. It is a guessing game for you and that’s not productive.

3. They believe that sharing knowledge is the enemy.Many people see others as competition and want to guard their knowledge. They purposely do not answer because they either don’t feel that you should know the answer, or they feel that, should you know the answer, you may have a one-upper on them. It is petty but very much a trait of insecure and small-minded people (when done consistently).

4. They want to look good. Depending on who is in cc of your email i.e. the boss, you will see how fast they respond. Usually, they want to respond quickly to look good to the boss. They want to give the illusion of being responsive and even helpful, somehow.

5. It’s part of their culture. In some cultures, you cannot “loose face” therefore you can’t say that you don’t know something but you have to respond, so you do…. but you don’t answer. I want to make sure that you don’t misunderstand me. I am not culture-bashing, but it is a reality that in some cultures you will not get an “I don’t know” but you will surely get a response with words… loads of words, but no answer. So you need to be aware of it before getting annoyed unnecessarily.


How can you deal with it?

1. Pre-empt it. If you deal with someone that you know has a propensity for deflection, adjust accordingly. Structure your email and questions in such a way that questions are clear and there is no doubt what is required of them. What has worked for me has been listing my questions in bullet points, asking rhetorical questions, asking questions and follow with possible answers in order to guide them to answer. For example, “Hi, could you explain 123? Does it mean abc? Or, does it mean xyz?”. They could answer abc, xyz, or something else which is the actual answer.

2. Get your follow-up right. Upon receiving a response with no answer, you have to go back with a request for clarification or additional information. Do not accept their response as final when you actually still need answer. Depending on how politics run in your company, judge how strongly you can chase that answer. If your attempts remain unsuccessful, it comes a point when you have to make clear that you are unable to proceed with task abc, as you are still awaiting clarification on xyz.

3. Be patient. Do not get impatient. It won’t help. On the contrary, the more patient you are the more you will take the time to get your answers.

4. Redirect. If you are like me and fail to take the above advice i.e. when patience fails you, just redirect your enquiry. Suggest that someone else may have the answer for you. You can say something like “shall I perhaps ask John to comment on this?”. If you still have no answer from them, then send to John.

5. Don’t take it personal.It’s not about you. Deflectors are not thinking of you when they don’t answer, they are thinking of themselves.

I hope this was helpful. I am curious to know how you deal with deflectors. Leave your comments x